The end of year party season creates a perfect storm of late nights, high pressure social gatherings and, for many teens, their first brush with alcohol or drugs. If you’re a parent, you may already feel your stomach tighten at the thought of unsupervised parties. Questions begin to swirl: Will my teen be safe? Will they feel pressured to take risks? What happens if something goes wrong? Would they call me? These aren’t just paranoid thoughts. They’re valid concerns.

If your teen is rolling their eyes insisting that you are “too strict” or you “don’t get it” you may find this research encouraging.  A comprehensive report, based on the 2021 Youth Risk Behaviour Survey, reinforces that teens with parents who know most or all of the time, where they are (and with who), had lower rates of substance use, sexual risk, violence, and other negative behaviours.

In fact, a massive 86% of teens said that their parents usually or always know where they are and who they are with. So, if your teen feels like they are the only one whose parents are peppering them with questions, they are likely not. This shows that most parents are actively keeping tabs on their teens, and it’s making a positive difference. Your questions and boundaries aren’t unusual—they’re protective.

The truth is, we can’t eliminate the risk, but we can reduce it and be there if things go wrong. Our teenagers need just as much as ever, so stay close! This is a vulnerable age, filled with change and big emotions. Our words, boundaries and presence matter.

Here are some practical ways to keep your teen safe and supported through the party season.

1. Early, Open Conversations
Research consistently shows that teens whose parents talk openly about alcohol and drugs, are less likely to engage in risky drinking or substance use. Conversations about drugs and alcohol often happen in the heat of the moment, just before a party, or after something has gone wrong. That’s not ideal. Try shifting those talks to calmer times, when you can discuss values and expectations without pressure. Acknowledge that while you may have different views and values, you both have the same objective – their health and safety – for both them and their friends.

2. Their Language is Wellbeing, Not Fear
Research tells us that fear campaigns don’t work with teenagers. What does work is credible, age-appropriate information delivered with respect. Teens want to know the truth, not just the rules or “back in my day” stories. I have always found that using third party credible information a good way to present information to teens.

Paul Dillon is founder of Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia (DARTA) with over 35 years of experience equipping young people, parents and educators with credible information about drugs and alcohol. He is my go-to reference for all things related to this topic. If you are interested in educating yourself his website is a wealth of information. These two resources are teen-specific, and I am constantly suggesting them to parents and adolescents:

• “The Real Deal on Drugs” an educational podcast for teens which is available on Spotify and Apple. I love that they can tune into it independently of their parents.
• Paul Dillon has also created a “Keep your mates safe” app which has business card size “what to do” instruction cards. You can find it here: https://darta.net.au/digital-cards

3. Set Clear Boundaries, and Encourage Personal Values
Boundaries delivered with love don’t push teens away but hold them steady when the pressure is on. It’s more than okay to say “no” to parties that don’t feel right, and insist on knowing where your teen will be, or to set a curfew. However, we also have to acknowledge that we won’t have any control of the decisions our teens make once they leave our sight. That is why I love ways to enhance teenagers’ own personal values. One of the best ways I’ve heard a parent prep a teen for a party was to say, “I want you to ask yourself these things over and over. Does it feel wrong or right? Does it feel good or bad? Just keep answering those two questions, and they will guide you.”

4. Plan for Safety, Not Perfection
No plan is foolproof. Teens may choose behaviours that are unsafe, and so may their friends. Preparation for these moments is essential. I would encourage parents to say, “It’s unrealistic to expect you to walk through life without making mistakes. No matter what, you can always call me. I would never want you to go through something tough alone because you were worried about getting into trouble. When stuff hits the fan, I’ll be there.”

Practical Party-Safe Tips for Teens

Encourage teens to:

• Keep their phone charged. Sounds obvious, but worth mentioning!
• Go to and leave a party with trusted friends. If it’s 1am and your teen’s mate doesn’t want to leave but they are exhausted, that’s the time they should phone home and get another option. Ideally, you never want them to leave their mates.
• Don’t let anyone buy their drinks for them, even their mates, and at the very least watch someone get or pour their drink. Around two-thirds of drink spiking happens as part of a so-called “prank.” It’s also important to remember that drink spiking doesn’t just happen in alcoholic beverages.
• Call home anytime, even if they just need a second opinion or are worried about a friend.
• Know the role of the ambulance and police and use them unapologetically. The Emergency+ app is a free app developed by Australia’s emergency services, and a great way to start a conversation with teens about the role of the ambulance and police. A feature of this app is its location tracker. emergencyplus.com.au
• Have at least three trusted adult contacts in their phone. These should be people with a license that they feel comfortable calling on.
• Have an Uber app (with the security settings turned on) on their phone for an independent and quick getaway. This can be linked to your credit card. That way, they won’t think twice about using it!
• Create a family “code word” they can text or use in a phone call if they want to be picked up discreetly. That way, they can save face with their peers or, if they are in real danger, they can access support.

Final Word
Many parents underestimate how much guidance teens require. It’s not time to take your foot off the parenting accelerator but to take a deep breath, trust your values, and lean in with patience. Your presence is the greatest protection your teen will ever have.